Healthy Ways to Release the Anger You Have Toward Your Divorce

Healthy Ways to Release the Anger You Have Toward Your Divorce

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Expert Author Susan Leigh
Anger is a very powerful emotion. We only have to witness someone hitting a punch bag or a wall to see how physically strong an angry person is capable of becoming. When emotions run high a person can become overwhelmed and out of control. So, it's understandable that when a marriage comes to an end there are often many powerful and distressing emotions to deal with; anger, hurt, shame, loss, disappointment to name just a few.
Often divorce follows and the ability to recover from the breakup may well be impeded by the enforced changes that occur. Moving home, losing friends, uprooting children, reduced quality of life may all have to be accommodated. Bitterness, resentment and frustration can increase the feelings of anger. Whilst those emotions are understandable at first it is important to gradually find ways to channel those feelings in more constructive ways.
Let's look at some healthy ways to release the anger you have toward your divorce:
- Frustration can exacerbate anger. If you don't want the divorce but are unable to change your partner's mind, frustration and anger can be a significant factor in how you feel. The realisation that nothing you promise, threaten or do will change their mind can cause a myriad of emotions. Anger, despair, frustration can be overwhelming for a time. In order to move on you have to learn to come to terms with your partner's decision and accept it.
- Counselling and hypnotherapy are valuable ways of recovering from your divorce. Understanding that anger, regret, disappointment often feature after a breakup is important. That realisation can take the pressure off you and allow some time to vent and grieve. Using therapy to help you heal the angry, damaged parts of you is an important part of the recovery process. With recovery comes time to re-focus your energy and move on. Counselling and hypnotherapy can help with reconciling what has happened and allow any negative, destructive emotions to be released.
- Appreciate that you have played a part in the failure of your marriage, maybe through unattractive patterns of behaviour, changed goals and dreams, not being assertive enough, perhaps not communicating well. Taking responsibility can help you understand your anger and learn to release it. Negative experience can teach you a lot; about yourself, about relationships and about what you don't want in the future. That realisation provides valuable insights.
- I'll show them. One healthy way to utilise anger is to become focussed on turning your life around. No doubt things were said or done before or during the divorce that affected your confidence. Directing your energy away from anger can make it a powerful force for change. Deciding to do something positive with the next stage of your life can turn possible options into viable and appealing goals. Energy and enthusiasm help to mobilise change. Good ideas for the future then start to take definite shape.
- One step at a time. Moving on can be tough after a divorce. Taking time to heal and consider the next big step is important. Many people advise against making hasty decisions after a divorce. If you're not sure what feels right for you wait until you feel clearer. But life does move on and anger can be a positive force to promote movement. Use it to introduce a change of style and image, revitalise the decision to take steps, accept invitations and start to socialize again.
- Self improvement requires effort and divorce can be an exhausting time. Pace yourself and avoid putting undue pressure on yourself. It leads to feeling stressed and distressed. Enjoy the opportunity to turn your life around in a positive way. When you introduce positive, fulfilling changes you release anger and consequently look and feel better than you have in a long time.
- Acceptance is a major way to release anger. It can take a while to reach this stage, but accepting that disappointment and hurt are often a fact of marriage breakdown can help you to move on, start to recover and accept your divorce. Appreciating that your ex said, did and behaved in unfortunate ways is part of the process of letting go of the relationship. It need no longer impact on your daily emotional life.
Unfortunately life doesn't always work out as we intended and we have to reconcile ourselves to that fact. We can learn from setbacks and disappointments, move on and start again. It is natural and healthy to regret your divorce; after all you married for life. But releasing anger allows the hurt to subside, you to heal and the recovery to begin.

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